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  • "sunflowerliz" started this thread
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Reg: Oct 27th 2011

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Saturday, December 7th 2013, 2:58pm

nervous about how i'll cope with delivery after previous loss

Hi everyone

Just wanted to start this thread to look for a bit of support/reassurance from people who may have had/are in a similar situation to me.
I am currently 36w5d pregnant with our rainbow baby. I'm being induced at 38 weeks due to gestational diabetes but am starting to get very nervous about the birth.
In March 2012 I was 21 weeks pregnant with twins when I went into pre-term labour and both our babies died. They were healthy until the point of delivery but never took a breath. Delivering them, knowing that they could not survive was so traumatic that I am now just so scared of how I will cope with the emotions of delivery this time. My midwife has been so supportive and even took me on a private tour of the delivery suite (no one is usually allowed this at my hospital) so that I didn't have to face that place for the 1st time since our loss when I was in labour. I had a complete meltdown when I was there but was glad I did it.
Can anyone relate to this? Does anyone have any stories of how they coped?
This site hasbeen such a great support to me throughout this pregnancy. Thank you in advance.
Xxx
ICSI 2010 :BFN:
ICSI 2011 :BFP: twins. Pre-term labour 21 weeks. Precious boy and girl lost.Totally heartbroken.
FET 2013 :BFP: DD born Dec 2013

This post has been edited 1 times, last edit by "sunflowerliz" (Dec 7th 2013, 3:01pm)


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Children: Our beautiful angel Evie and her new baby sister Isla, our wee rainbow.

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Saturday, December 7th 2013, 8:51pm

Hi Sunflowerliz

So sorry you lost your precious twins.

I lost my baby girl Evie 2 years ago, she was born at full term and died when she was 4 days old after suffering a bleed in her brain. our wee rainbow is now 4 and a half months old and brings us so much happiness every day. There is no doubt it will be an extremely emotional time but I got through her birth by focusing on the end result. I was just so determined that we were going to bring this little one home with us. Thankfully it was a very different experience 2nd time around which did help.

Not sure I've been much help hun but just wanted to wish you good luck and hope it's an uneventful birth.

Lots of love xxx

Moogle

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Tuesday, December 10th 2013, 10:23am

Hello Sunflowerliz, I'm so happy to see you're on the last lap now. A rainbow for Christmas - how perfect :heart:

As far as coping with emotions of delivery goes, like the lovely Rally I can only share my experience with you, but I guess we all have different ways of coping, and you'll manage somehow hun. Looking back I still don't know how I managed to carry and deliver another baby after my loss, but thank goodness I did because she is worth every crazy minute of it!

Our darling DS2 was stillborn at 36 weeks, so the plan was always to deliver DD early - though miraculously I managed to carry on until 36+4. It sounds pretty grim, but my way of dealing with the entire pregnancy was to believe our baby had a 50:50 chance. She would either be born alive... or she wouldn't. I knew the actual risk of my having another stillbirth was low, but during that time the statistics were meaningless to me. So I mentally prepared myself for both outcomes - I suppose it gave me a sense of control regardless of what happened. And just hoped and hoped plan B wouldn't be needed.

I ended up being admitted to hospital for the last few days before DD was delivered due to her unstable lie. Which was really the best thing as I was an emotional wreck by that point and it really helped me to have basically round-the-clock monitoring at the end. And I'm sure my slowly losing the plot was partly why I was admitted too - my consultant deserves a medal! And right up until the last minute we didn't know if delivery would be by induction or section, so that gave me something to focus on - strangely, stressing about the method of birth kind of stopped me worrying so much about the outcome. A cross-that-bridge when we come to it situation maybe. And after the emotionally charged time leading up, I was actually remarkably calm on the day DD was born. It was like: ok, she's coming out today and that's it - whatever else happens, today is the day.

It sounds like you're being well-looked after - that definitely helps. Stay strong and try to believe your precious twinnies are watching over their baby brother or sister. Wishing you all the very best and looking forward to your imminent announcement xxx

blowkiss


BFP Jan 2008: M/C at 13 weeks
BFP April 2009: Fantastic Finlay born 3/1/2010 xx
BFP May 2011: Beautiful Brodie born asleep 2/1/2012 xx
BFP June 2012: M/C at 5 weeks
BFP Oct 2012: Cuddly Kira born 6/6/2013 xx

My diary: Sunshine, Stars and Rainbows

  • "sunflowerliz" started this thread
  • United Kingdom

Posts: 124

Reg: Oct 27th 2011

Location: Swindon

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Tuesday, December 10th 2013, 2:51pm

Thank you both so much for your replies. Knew you'd understand.
Up until last weeks scan was convinced i'd be having a c-section as my placenta had been low all along. Now it has shifted so can go for normal delivery. Was almost a bit disappointed as having a section would have meant the delivery would be a totally different experience to before.
Am coming round to the idea of a natural delivery but just know it will feel like an eternity before that 1st cry!
Also just really hope I get understanding midwives. All through the pregnancy my community midwife and consultant have been so supportive I just hope that can continue at the scariest part!
Thanks for listening to me ramble
Xx
ICSI 2010 :BFN:
ICSI 2011 :BFP: twins. Pre-term labour 21 weeks. Precious boy and girl lost.Totally heartbroken.
FET 2013 :BFP: DD born Dec 2013

biggreeneyes

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Tuesday, December 10th 2013, 7:13pm

I have no words of wisdom to write, but I did want to give you a big :hugs: instead.


goodgreen

April 09-IVF-BFN :sadface:
Oct 09-ICSI - BFP :happy: - Little boy born on 14/07/10
June 12-ICSI - BFN :sadface:
Oct 12 - ICSI - BFP - followed by mm/c (blighted ovum) :sadface:
April 13 - ICSI - BFN :sadface:
Aug 13 - ICSI - BFN :sadface:
Jan 14 - ICSI - BFN :sadface:
Oct 14 - FET - BFN (surprise surprise) :sadface:

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