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  • "Strawberrie" started this thread

Posts: 716

Reg: Jul 7th 2010

Location: Kingston upon Hull

Children: one on the way

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Thursday, November 7th 2013, 7:36pm

Posting on Facebook

Hi

I'm just wondering what your thoughts are about posting your baby news on FB. I have decided not to post but my sister is really trying to push me into doing it.

I'm feeling very upset about it because I think she's been quiet mean about it but she thinks I'm being over sensitive. Here's how it came about. I posted in a private message on FB to my old school friends that I was pregnant. I was waiting to tell them face to face on friday but the news had leaked out to a couple of them and I was upset they hadn't found out from me. So I told them yesterday in a pm.

Today I was telling my sister just chit chatting and she said she couldn't understand why I didn't just bang my scan pic on my news feed and tell the world when i had my 12wk scan because that's what she'd done. I explained that I have friends on FB who haven't had their lucky break yet and that i knew how upsetting it could be when all you seem to see is other people's scan pics and that those people who are my real friends all know now so there's no need and that I just didn't want to share this news on FB. Tbh I'm not one f those who really posts anyway.

Anyway she said well if you we're actually excited about being pg you would want to announce it on FB. She went on like his for ages and I was trapped in the car with her so just had to sit there and drive! In the end I said after all I've been through I just don't want to put it on there and that maybe I was being a bit precious about it but that's my choice. To which she said. I know how you feel because I struggled to conceive Isabel. Isabel is her 1st child she has 2. This has upset me because yes it did take her 11 months to get pg the 1st time (he second time she got pg on the 1st attempt!)but up to a year ttc is normal really especially as she had just come off the pill which she had been on for 15 yrs.

It has aken me 14 years to get pregnant it has been a really tough journey I told her I felt that what she had said was trivialising what I had been through and she's said it's not a competition. I Just gave up at his point and stopped speaking

The whole thing has left me upset and wondering if am being over sensitive, obviously I am hormonal too so maybe it is me and just wondered how other people who do underand what I have been through feel about this??

Also I did just want to get it off my chest so sorry about re-enacting the whole saga but I have found it therapeutic

Sal xxxxx

MY DIARY

She fears to hope because disappointment is standing outside the nearest door - and yet she never gives up.

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1st IVF January 2011 :BFN:

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Thursday, November 7th 2013, 7:50pm

Oh hon, firstly CONGRATULATIONS!!!! : D

And secondly, I don't think you are being over sensitive at all. I never have put anything about my kids on FB, no chat, pics nothing. It's just my personal choice. I completely see where you are coming from and think your sister is being totally unfair making you feel like this.

You stick to your guns! This is your baby :) and your business xxxx



1st ICSI - Oct 08 - :BFP:!!! DD born July 2009 : D
1st FET - May 11 - BFN :-(
2nd FET - Sept 11 - BFN :bawl:
3rd FET - Jan 12 - :BFP: DD2 born October 2012

DUSKY'S FET DIARY



  • "Strawberrie" started this thread

Posts: 716

Reg: Jul 7th 2010

Location: Kingston upon Hull

Children: one on the way

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Thursday, November 7th 2013, 8:05pm

Thanks Dusky I feel much better now :) I will stick to my guns I'm empowered!!!! Xxxxx

MY DIARY

She fears to hope because disappointment is standing outside the nearest door - and yet she never gives up.

13xclomid 2009-2010 3xClomid 2011 all :BFN:
1st IVF January 2011 :BFN:

IVF #2 March/April 2012 :BFN:

Neve777

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Thursday, November 7th 2013, 8:06pm

:congrats: Strawbs!!! OK, I will be quite frank about this if you dont mind...

Sorry to say this about your family but your sister sounds like a right pain in the bum. She needs to keep her opinions to herself and stop imposing them on you!!

I totally understand why you wouldnt want to post a scan pic on facebook. (I dont find other peoples scans THAT interesting anyway - yawn!). I also understand why some people would want to post as they are so excited and want to share their news with everyone, but like you, when I tell my friends it will be fact to face as much as possible for close friends. Followed by texts or emails to good friends, and then maybe a FB announcement after that to tell the friends that are friends but we dont keep in touch, but not a scan pic!! Like Dusky says its all personal choice, and I would never dream of criticising anyone elses choice.

For the record - You are DEFINITELY not being over-sensitive, I think you are extremely level-headed and mature. She needs to grow up!!! There is more to life than bl00dy facebook!!

All the best for the rest of your pregnancy, I hope you enjoy it, and dont let other people bring you down!! blowkiss

:xxx3:

TTC since 2010
ICSI May 2013 - :BFN:
ICSI # 2 Oct 2013 - :BFP:
21 Nov 13 - [zx076] [zx076] seen at first scan! :faint:
Jul 2014 - bab21 bab22

Curlytails

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Thursday, November 7th 2013, 8:31pm

I never announced mine on fb. In fact the first time i mentioned my pregnancy was a week before i had ds. Like you i had sat on the sidelines for many years and had experienced the jolt of pain on seeing those announcement scan pics time and time again.

Do what feels best for you now and when baby comes along too.

Ps lovely to see you back here again xx

6 x IVF, 3 x FET
3 x MMC, 3 x :BFN:, 1 x failed thaw
Two gorgeous boys.

  • "Strawberrie" started this thread

Posts: 716

Reg: Jul 7th 2010

Location: Kingston upon Hull

Children: one on the way

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Thursday, November 7th 2013, 8:37pm

Thanks Neve

And congratulations to you too :thumbsup: how many weeks are you?

I'm glad I'm not alone in this! I just don't want to live my life through FB. Thank God for FZ though I'm afraid I would have had a fit at my sister if I didn't come and rant on here!

Hi CT thanks I guess although she may think she understands!!! She has no idea what it's like to live through this journey so really shouldn't comment grrrr

My sis is a bit funny anyway because when I was physically showing her he scan pic she said I was a baby bore! Sometimes I just can't win! Family ay!!!
I'm rolling my eyes lol xxx

CT are you doing your FET now? How you feeling Hun xxxx

MY DIARY

She fears to hope because disappointment is standing outside the nearest door - and yet she never gives up.

13xclomid 2009-2010 3xClomid 2011 all :BFN:
1st IVF January 2011 :BFN:

IVF #2 March/April 2012 :BFN:

rb76

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Thursday, November 7th 2013, 10:15pm

I never posted on FB about my pregnancy either, I found other peoples' scan pics so painful for years that I wasn't about to make someone else potentially feel the same way!
I have just changed my profile pic to my daughters hand, the same as my avatar on here, and a lot of people only knew I'd had a baby from that lol! I am not sure I will be posting pictures of her at all other than that, not keen on them being online but that is just me,
I'm afraid people who have not been through it can not understand.
Stick to your guns!

Me - 36 DH - 48. TTC since 2008
March/April 2013 Immune DE ICSI Gennet, Prague :BFP: [zx076] [zx076] :girl: :girl:
Diagnosed with severe pre eclampsia at 23 weeks :(
Babies born by emergency c-section at 24 weeks on 30th August 2013, One beautiful little angel passed away shortly after birth. Sleep tight sweetheart x :heart:
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Friday, November 8th 2013, 7:15am

Hi there!
Looks like you've got a lot of support on here already!
With our 1st pregnancy we did the whole FB announcement thing with scan pictures and then a few bump pics which, at the time, we loved. Then sadly we lost our twins at 21 weeks. This time around we've been so much more cautious with spreading the news. Didn't tell parents until about 10 weeks and only. Told close friends after 12 weeks. Then just let news trickle around. We haven't put a thing on FB and all our friends and family have respected that. The nice thing is it means people we only see rarely are still finding out (i'm 32 weeks now) so we get to keep getting excited congratulations! Think we will definately announce the birth on fb as want to be able to publicly thank all those who have supported us through such a tragic loss and then such an anxious pregnancy.
Think you are totally right in what you've said to your sister and she should respect that.
Xx
ICSI 2010 :BFN:
ICSI 2011 :BFP: twins. Pre-term labour 21 weeks. Precious boy and girl lost.Totally heartbroken.
FET 2013 :BFP: DD born Dec 2013

Moogle

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Friday, November 8th 2013, 10:06am

Congratulations on your lovely news! : D

Just want to echo what the other ladies have said already. I do use FB quite a lot, as it's my main form of communication with a lot of family and friends I don't see often - am so rubbish at phoning and texting :rollseyes: With my first two I did post scan pictures, after our TTC troubles over the years and knowing that ache when others posted scan and baby pictures, I kind of figured it was our turn and hoped friends in a similar situation would understand and be happy for us. I tried not to be a baby-bore though, and barely posted anything else during my pregnancies - until both boys were born. Unfortunately, with my second this meant having to post the announcement that he was born asleep at 36 weeks. And live that extremely difficult part of my life through the Facebook world, as well as in the real one. I don't regret the way I did things, but it is a very personal choice - there's no right or wrong way/time to announce an event as momentous as a new baby, and it's absolutely none of your sister's business how you decide to do this. I really hope she lays off of you, because you are on the most wonderful and exciting journey - but pregnancy is such an emotional time anyway, you really don't need that kind of "support" do you! Why on earth wouldn't you be precious about something so... precious? :heart:

Oh, and with our third LO, born in June this year, I didn't post a thing on FB until the day she was born :) And it was just lovely, I had so many messages saying "wow, didn't even know you were pregnant!" It's very exciting to keep it a big surprise. You do whatever feels right for you.

Lxxx


BFP Jan 2008: M/C at 13 weeks
BFP April 2009: Fantastic Finlay born 3/1/2010 xx
BFP May 2011: Beautiful Brodie born asleep 2/1/2012 xx
BFP June 2012: M/C at 5 weeks
BFP Oct 2012: Cuddly Kira born 6/6/2013 xx

My diary: Sunshine, Stars and Rainbows

This post has been edited 1 times, last edit by "Moogle" (Nov 8th 2013, 10:07am)


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Friday, November 8th 2013, 11:10am

Hi,

Firstly huge congratulations to you. I would just like to echo what others have said. This journey is such a personal one we should only do what feels right for us. Unless you have had problems TTC you don't really know what it is like, this is what I tell myself when someone has said something to me that I perceive to be insensitive and it stops me form feeling so cross.

I wish you all the best for the future xxxx
From Shell :smile:
TTC for no 1 for 3 years
ICSI Dec '09 - 1 egg collected - did not fertilise.
ICSI no 2 July '10 - BFP! Oscar 2.2lb and Zack 2.9lb born 17.1.11 - 12 weeks early, tiny but perfect xxx

Maria72

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Friday, November 8th 2013, 6:41pm

Congratulations from me too and yes you are right, it is very upsetting when you can't have children to see other people's scan pictures on the news feed.

  • "Strawberrie" started this thread

Posts: 716

Reg: Jul 7th 2010

Location: Kingston upon Hull

Children: one on the way

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12

Thursday, November 14th 2013, 7:55pm

Hi sorry not been on for a while thanks for the support ladies :) I'm sticking to my guns xxx

MY DIARY

She fears to hope because disappointment is standing outside the nearest door - and yet she never gives up.

13xclomid 2009-2010 3xClomid 2011 all :BFN:
1st IVF January 2011 :BFN:

IVF #2 March/April 2012 :BFN:




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