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  • "fuzzy bee" started this thread

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Monday, August 13th 2012, 12:13am

Crying it out...

My bubs are six months old this week!
But I have had no sleep for pretty much that whole time, and if you include pregnancy I am one sleep deprived mama!

I'm feeling guilty enough about it without the articles that are telling me that I'm causing brain damage to them and all sorts. Of course I love them and want to do right by them but I feel that none of us getting more than a couple of hours sleep at a time must be more damaging than crying it out.

I'm just wondering what other people's thoughts are on controlled crying? Any tips/recommendations?
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Gracie

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Monday, August 13th 2012, 1:26pm

Well, it worked for us! It's really hard for the first few nights but after that my daughter's sleep really started to improve. My DH dealt with it while I hid under the duvet feeling dreadful but it was the only thing that worked for us. The only problem with it is that if your LOs are then ill or teething obviously you can't leave them to cry and then this tends to undo all the good work and you have to start again.

I didn't start putting Freya into a bed time routine until she was about six months old and even with the CC she didn't start to really sleep through properly until very recently. Last night I admit she ended up in bed with me as I was on my own and I am 31 weeks pg and full of cold so couldn't really cope with getting up and down loads to settle her!

I would say give it a try and you'll soon find a way that suits you and your LOs, now if Freya does wake I leave her to see if she settles but if she's very upset then I pick her up for a bit and she soon drops off again.

:goodluck: to you!

xxx






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Monday, August 13th 2012, 1:45pm

I found that I was not able to do controlled crying - it is just against my nature to leave a child to cry.
Also, a good friend tried it but it did not work for her at all - almost a month of CC and her son still screamed for up to 2 hours before settling down to sleep so they finally gave up.

I can fully empathise with being sleep deprived, though, as I had a little man who was sick a lot and in and out of hospital every 2-4 weeks so that for months at a stretch I had, at most, 1 hour of sleep per night as I was also breast-feeding and when he was ill he wanted to feed almost constantly. All I can say is, try to sleep whenever they do and if that means that there is no food on the table when DH gets home - so be it.

In the end, only you can decide whether you will try it or not and only time will tell whether it will work for you or not. Being sleep deprived will not be doing your mental health any good. If you are not BF, could you get someone else (who is willing to spend half the night up with them) to look after them for a night or two just to refresh your soul as CC may also fail if you are too frazzled to cope with the crying because you are close to collapse - ever notice how the crying feels worse the more tired you are and how much more easily you give in? So try to get some sleep first before you try the CC for yourself...


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Monday, August 13th 2012, 2:49pm

I havent tried it myself but I'd give it a go. If it works then you'll all get some well deserved sleep, of not well at least you tried xxx
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Monday, August 13th 2012, 4:08pm

I didn't do it with number one child as my resolve wasn't strong enough and I couldn't bear to leave her crying. Number two child came along and as I teetered on the verge of sleep deprivation induced mania, I did it. In a week she was settling herself to sleep and transformed from a constantly crotchety child into a MUCH more pleasant one. Sleep deprivation affects them too!

I'd do it again, I don't think my DD2 is affected in any way from it. She's not insecure and doesn't have feelings of abandonment : D

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Monday, August 13th 2012, 6:26pm

It is probably not the same thing but at 6 month old DH decided DD is old enough to sleep through, so when she cried he went in to comfort her, which meant no milk. (I was BF). She used to sleep around 8-9 hours in one go with this method (from my point of view - excluding DH's wake). And as I went to bed the same time it was great :-) She soon learnt to drop that waking completely and slept from around 8 to 5 and it only got better from there. Now at 18 month old she is an excellent sleeper sleeps from 7:30 to 6 and only wakes if something troubles her like teething etc. it might also be genetic though as we are both good sleepers too.

Hope something similar works for you too.

xx Rianon

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Monday, August 13th 2012, 6:46pm

I couldn't do it either tbh. I tried it for a couple of nights and gave up. It was too upsetting for both of us :-( but as a result I need to rock C to sleep. I don't mind it at all if fact I quite enjoy it but sometimes my back complains :-( lol. If he wakes during the night DH or myself will rub his back or give him his soother and he goes back to sleep straight away. I'm just not strong enough to listen to him cry but then I was never that sleep deprived!!
Could your inlaws or somebody else you trust not take the babies out for a walk and you could get some sleep during the day?
Hope it works for you and you get some sleep soon xxx
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  • "fuzzy bee" started this thread

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Monday, August 13th 2012, 9:07pm

thank you for the replies folks!

Ok so I had a sleep consultant (I'm a sucker for spending money on help :pinch: ) come in on friday and she basically follows the gina ford routine and crying it out. We are on night 4 now, I posted as I was just trying to work out whether I'm mad or evil or what.

I swore I would never use a dummy but at 3months DD needed it, unfortunately she then couldn't live without it, my fault shouldn't have introduced it I guess. Anyway she was getting up 4-5 times a night to have it replaced.
DS just likes waking up at 11, 2 and 5 to have a chat/cry/chew on something (won't take dummy, phew I guess!)

So after night 3... DD stirred at 8 cried for 20mins then went to sleep til 6.30, DS rolled all over the place, stirred at the end of the closing ceremony and had to be woken at 7am. By no means am I counting my chickens but I've had some sleep, and most importantly they've had some sleep and they are lasting longer in the day before the grumpiness sets in.

I have been really lucky to have my mum staying during the week and then friends staying at the weekends or DH obviously. With their help I've managed to get some sleep most days but it's meant me missing out on quality play time with my babies and I don't want to miss that! I haven't cooked in ages anyway, that's another thing, not sleeping and napping in the day has meant not cooking and I've been worrying how I'll be able to wean and feed the babies if I can't find time to feed myself properly.
Anyway finally on saturday night I had my first night alone with the babies as DH went away, and it was great. I even managed to bf them through the day and try solids, go out for a walk all by myself, it was the first time I've done that since they've arrived in my life. A bit of sleep for me went a long way, and them having sleep too meant they were more manageable and not wanting to be held the whole day.

Don't get me wrong I would love to hold them and rock them but I also know that I can't manage to do that for both of them because I only have two hands! And I certainly couldn't have managed alone at the weekend if I hadn't let them cry.

It's horrible but it has worked over the last three nights, hopefully we've broken the back of self settling and maybe my babies will be happier too.
Thank you for your thoughts folks!
[zx102]

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Monday, August 13th 2012, 11:22pm

Thats great :thumbsup: I hope it continues xxx
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Tuesday, August 14th 2012, 7:40am

I'm not sure whether this will help you but DS has a projector in his cot that helps settle him to sleep. It projects a little slideshow on the ceiling as well as having a little bear that rocks on the side. He watches and listens to it when I put him down for the night and 9 times out of 10 it sings him to sleep. It also has a sensor on it that is activated by sound so if he cries in the night it turns back on, which is sometimes all he needs to go back to sleep. It also has a remote control so you can turn it on or off from the door, or in our case from bed as he is still in our room.

Hope the good nights continue for you xx

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Tuesday, August 14th 2012, 9:48am

Ct think we have the same projector and Cobi loves it. He also has a rabbit that he goes to sleep with. He also has a really bad habit of putting the blanket over his face. Thank god for the breathing monitor.

FB glad you've managed to get some sleep and what works for one doesn't work for others and you got it double.x

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Tuesday, August 14th 2012, 3:22pm



what works for one doesn't work for others


This ^ ^ ^ ^ ^

This is all you need to remember about parenting babies.

If it works for you then it's right.

jodiedoo

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Wednesday, August 15th 2012, 1:13am

Great news FB
Bet you feel a whole lot better and stronger with sleep :heart:
I just cry (a lot) if I'm sleep deprived hence the reason DH avoided it lol
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Wednesday, August 15th 2012, 4:20am

Fuzzy Bee that sounds really good hope it continues and you can take them to many more walks on your own.

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Thursday, August 16th 2012, 4:23am

Well done FB, hope it continues. DD had reflux, before we found out, when she was tiny, DH wanted to leave her to cry and I just couldn't do it, am so glad I didn't, when we had things more under control and she was on solids we did it, I hated it, the only place I couldn't hear her was the bathroom so hid in there. After three nights she was sleeping through.

You're doing brilliantly hon, hope you continue to get more sleep xxxxxx



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  • "fuzzy bee" started this thread

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Thursday, August 16th 2012, 8:41pm

Thanks Dusky, I waited til 6 months partly cos thats how long it tool me to get to the end of my tether but more because I know they are big enough to know that crying means mama comes running ( their little faces are all angelic once I get in the room and the tears stop!)

Well I counted my chickens waay too early, DS has fallen into the routine well, cries for about 5mins then sleeps, even through the night. DD screams like a banshee, I think she misses her dummy. Heck she's 6months old can she even remember it?

I don't think I have the resolve to continue with it for her at least, which means no sleep! dagnamit!
[zx102]

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Thursday, August 16th 2012, 10:36pm

Least DS has got it, or does DD wake him with her crying? Try again when you feel ready, you'll know when the time is right and she'll get it, it is hard but so worth it imo xxxxxx



1st ICSI - Oct 08 - :BFP:!!! DD born July 2009 : D
1st FET - May 11 - BFN
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