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  • "masha" started this thread

Posts: 132

Reg: Jan 27th 2009

Location: edinburgh

Children: DD is almost 4 y.o

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1

Thursday, May 6th 2010, 10:28am

I want c/section! (but not posh)

Hi Ladies!

That was a long struggle for me with ivf but hey I am 35 weeks pregnant now :P . I know that our baby is back to back position and local maternity hospital is dreadful, chances of getting epidural for example are slim to none as there is only one anaestethist who spends his days in the theatre( fair for the ones who are having c/section, but not much fun for the others who are expiriencing episiotommies and forceps with almost nothing). Sadly they donot even offer an antenatal clinic appointment after IVF, we are simply discharged after 7 weeks scan. My midwife tried to push me for home birth several times but at the end agreed on midwifery unit. After seeing all of this mess up in a maternity unit and speaking with ladies who recently gave birth there I simply want a nice planned section. Oh yes of course I know that it is a major surgery and recovery takes much longer, but I feel strogly that it would be a safer way for our LO. Unfortunately I feel as I ve got no voice here. The only comment i ve got from midwife is "it will be alright". To me it isnot good enough I want to speak with an obstetrian at least to disscuss options or to be allowed to give birth in a doctors led unit. Does any one have any similar expiriences or advise? Does anyone feel the same way?
Let's do it

Flic

MODERATOR

    Italy Poland

Posts: 12,239

Reg: May 8th 2008

Location: North Lincolnshire

Children: Had my first daughter on 25th February 2010!

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Stressed.

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Thursday, May 6th 2010, 12:07pm

Hiya,

My baby was back to back. I had literally no pain in my stomach, all in my back. However baby can move. Mine was in normal position and then decided that she didn't want to make it easy.

Its not necessarily safer as baby will make an appearance when they are ready.

I did with gas and air and diamorphine. I only had an epidural and a spinal because she got stuck and I'd been awake for almost 24 hours. They gave me this after I was 10cm and was already pushing. I had an episiotomy and a failed ventouse and then eventually O was delivered by forceps.

I wasn't really up for the epidural to be honest as I wanted to feel everything but they really wanted me to have it to have rest.

I was induced early and at no point was a section considered.

Why do you think a section would be safer?

There may be no need for an episiotomy and your baby might be born absolutely fine with no stress or anything.

The thing is that you don't know how you will feel until you are in labour. The main thing is to keep an open mind and go with what your body tells you.

:hugs:






Our miracle was born on 25.02.2010!!



  • "masha" started this thread

Posts: 132

Reg: Jan 27th 2009

Location: edinburgh

Children: DD is almost 4 y.o

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3

Thursday, May 6th 2010, 3:29pm

I forgot to mention some nasty details ie massive varicosities down below, so episiotomy or tearing will probably mean lots of bleeding, but the main consern is fetal disstress etc, which could be avoided with planned c/section. I know that the majority will be fine with vaginal deliveries but I donot want to risk it, so far my expirience was that the majority got pregnant naturally and I didnot, the majourity had normal HSG and I didnot, the majourity had normal fsh and mine was raised. so my point is that I donot want to rely on luck, this pregnancy is our only option and I don't want to risk it in any way. Everybody says that woman should have a choice when it comes to home birth (interestingly the cheapest option from the point of view of the NHS), but no other choices?! I just donot feel right or trustful when it comes to midwifery care. ;(
Let's do it

Bells

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Thursday, May 6th 2010, 3:52pm

Oh love, it's no wonder you're stressing.

Why not give the head of midwifery at your nominated hospital a ring and see if you can arrange a meeting?

If you explain, on the phone, that you're worried sick about your baby's birth, that you've discussed your worries with several midwives and although they tried to reassure you, you still feel extremely worried. Tell her that you have no confidence in your body's ability to cope in labour as you feel it has constantly failed you on your entire journey to having a baby. Tell her that the worry is consuming you and affecting your day to day life, that you're not sleeping (because I bet you're not!) and that you're so worried that something will go horribly wrong that you feel the only way you would feel less anxious is if you could have a section.

I think it would be very wise for her to arrange for you to sit down with a good midwife and spend a double appointment discussing the options. At the moment it sounds like you need some reassurance, maybe a chat with a consultant and more importantly to feel valued and cared for by the medical staff around you.

Any good midwife knows that for most women to birth well, they need to feel safe, secure and supported. At the moment it sounds like you feel none of these things.





Pootle

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Posts: 7,078

Reg: Mar 31st 2007

Location: By the coast

Children: 2 beautiful girls.

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Thursday, May 6th 2010, 8:31pm

Evening. I'm sorry you're feeling so stressed and anxious.

Bells is spot on - someone needs to spend some proper time with you and discuss your fears and your options.

You're right, a caesarean is major surgery, and why if it can be avoided, its a good idea. I've had 2 - the first was emergency and the second was recommended, and planned, by my consultant. Even though I had been disappointed not to give birth vaginally to DD1 I was ok about it with DD2 because I felt it removed the chances of a repeat of the scary birth experience I had with DD1.

To be honest, I think either way a baby comes there will be someone who thinks it would have been better/easier the other way. And either way your baby comes, s/he'll be with you and you'll be so delighted and relieved that you're a Mum.

At the moment you sound too worried, and without enough information, to make a proper choice. I hope you get the support you need to evaluate your situation and make the right choice for you.

x






My family is complete...I am grateful every day

DD1, natural miracle, 2005
DD2, IVF miracle, 2008


  • "masha" started this thread

Posts: 132

Reg: Jan 27th 2009

Location: edinburgh

Children: DD is almost 4 y.o

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6

Monday, August 23rd 2010, 4:50pm

Just wanted to give a quick update. I felt very confused with everything, spoke to several people who had back to back position and a few had very negative childbirth expiriences. Some had forceps, and i was very against it simply because it is not practised anywhere else in EU as considered unsafe. on the other hand section poses its own risk. So at the end i ve asked my MW to arrange an appointment with dr to disscuss things. She said that dr wouldnot do anything differently and I d be fine. Interestingly Dr said that he didsnot know what would be the best option for me and if i was thinking about section then he would be happy to do it (all NHS, nothing private). He said planned section would be better then run the emergency one. I agreed and had very positive expirience. I was up on my feet in 12 hours and walking in 24 hours. our daughter was born fit and healthy and I cannot complain about anything at all. Of course i donot know what would happend if I went for SVD it could be a very positive expirience as well, but i am glad that i didnot risk it. i guess what i am trying to say is that midwives opinion may be different from dr's one and your gut feeling is important as well.
PS NST supporters probably would kill me for what I wrote
Let's do it

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