FertilityZone

Hi,

I'm really sorry for the loss of your son.

I can't begin to imagine how you must be feeling right now, the different emotions you must be going through.

I'm sorry that I've not said much to help, but the ladies on FZ are really supportive, and always around to help/listen wherever we can.

xxx

Hi Rachel

First of all I'm so very sorry and can't even begin to know how devastated you must have been and understandably how scared you are right now. I don't know the statistics on still birth, but I would imagine if there was nothing found to be wrong then it can be put down to a very tragic unfortunate loss, and should mean it was an isolated incident.

I'm sure there will be someone along with more knowledge. In the meantime can I offer you the warmest of congratulations on your recent bfp. Thinking of you and keeping everything crossed for a healthy 9 months and beyond.

xxx

Hi Rachel

I've just come across your post & although I can't give you too much information on stillbirth, I hope I can point you in the right direction.

Firstly, I am so sorry to hear about the death of your little one. We lost our first child, a little boy, at 36 weeks just over 4 years ago although he wasn't stillborn. He had developed a rare blood disease (not hereditary/genetic) in the womb which wasn't picked up on antenatally until that day (he was fine at the 20 week scan) & he lived for just a few minutes. The hospital gave us lots of information from a charity called SANDS (Stillbirth & Neo-natal Death Society) & I have always found their website informative. I would imagine that they would be able to give you some more information on Stillbirth.

Have you had any contact with your GP or Midwife yet? They should also be able to give you information & certainly lots of support.

Great news on this pregnancy! I fully understand how nervous you are with it. I am now nearly 25 weeks pregnant with our second child having had to undergo IVF after 3+ years of subfertility (which included a miscarriage). Getting through the first trimester was a real achievement & after this I slowly began to learn to relax. I've had 5 scans already & have more lined up - before I could feel the baby moving, I was unable to look at the screen until I knew that they could see the heartbeat. It has got easier as the pregnancy is progressing but don't get me wrong, I still have moments when I panic & I'm expecting to get really twitchy again around the 36 week mark but we have a really supportive Consultant & team of Midwives (many of whom still remember us from 4 years ago). I would hope that your GP/Midwife/Consultant will provide you with everything you need to re-assure you that all is well.

I think that one of the things that I've found hard is that so few people actually know what it's like to lose a baby & no matter how hard people try, unless you've been through it you can not understand the depth of the pain or the fear of a subsequent pregnancy - that's where SANDS have been helpful & they have a forum too which I used alot in the early days to make sure that I wasn't going insane!

DH & I both know that there is nothing that we can do if everything were to go pear-shaped again &, for this reason, I decided a while ago that I wanted to make the most of this pregnancy & enjoy it as much as I can no matter what happened. Sometimes, it really is simply "mind over matter" & it can be tough but that's what works for me.

I really hope that our experiences are helpful for you & that SANDS can help you. If you have any other questions, then please feel free to contact me.

xxx