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  • "SusieWinwood" started this thread

Posts: 742

Reg: Jul 4th 2006

Location: Sunny Atherton, Manchester! :-D

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Tuesday, June 17th 2008, 3:16pm

First ante natal appointment - not happy.

I've been for my first ante natal this morning and I have to say that I'm not a happy person.

I saw the Cons and he said how old are you, he looked at my notes and said 41 - (sharp intake of breath) I said well nothings fell off just yet!!

He said it's looking likely that you'll have a section! Why I said. Well due to your age BP, size! (I'm a 14/16) and asthma all these added up make you a risk. I said will you not even let me try to have it on my own. He looked a little shocked that I'd even asked and then said well, yes but we'll have to give you a very low threshold to try then we'll have to intervene!

I'm so piXXed off that he's written me off as a old duffer already! I can push with the rest of them!

I'm determined to have this baby on my own with little intervention just to prove him wrong! I'm 16 + 2 so anything can change in that time.

I intend to have rexflexology as long as possible at the College where I work, as come September the Degree students are allowed to work on pregnant ladies. 2 of the Reflexology lecturers have said they will even come into the labour room with me if allowed and give it to me there.

They will show DH the moves so he can do it if they can't be with me.

Just winds me up that they almost put in in your head that you can't manage when I most possibly can.

Hre also said that this is probably my last chance at a successful pregnancy! I'm bl00dy 41 not 51! :angry: :scream:

One very aggravated Susie!

Rant over

Me 39+3 ok
DH 39 Azoospermia
3xDIUI all BFN
Plan B AI known donor, 4 x BFN :tears:
:BFP: 22 March 2008! happydance :sticky:please



Posts: 1,264

Reg: Aug 27th 2006

Location: Location, Location

Children: 1 beautiful Little Girl with help from clomid.

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Tuesday, June 17th 2008, 3:21pm

Well done for sticking up for yourself. Remember its your choice, so if you want to do it naturally you fight for it. Talk to your midwife about it and get her on your side.



Posts: 3,264

Reg: Jan 17th 2008

Location: Edinburgh

Children: 3 big boys ( born '03,'06 & '08)

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Tuesday, June 17th 2008, 3:44pm

How annoying....that seems really off to me.
My mum had me (33 years ago :smile:) when she was a couple of months off her 40th without any intervention and did just I would presume do a lot of 40 year olds. One of the mums at anti-natal classes when I was having my 1st was also approaching 40 then and went on to have a 2nd baby a couple of years her surprise as they'd become preg the 1st time through IVF. Anyhow, back to you...I think it's really unfair your GP is treating you this your midwife more sympathetic at all....I tend to find the midwives more in tune than the GP's in these matters!

baby boy born Aug. '03
baby boy born April '06
m/c June '07 at 5w
m/c Oct '07 at 6w
m/c Dec '07 at 4w 4d
baby boy born Dec '08
m/c March '10 at 6w

Posts: 2,643

Reg: Feb 28th 2007

Location: Surrey

Children: Not yet

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Tuesday, June 17th 2008, 3:58pm

The cheek of him! :cross:

I would ignore him and speak with your midwife. At the end of the day its up to you how you want to give birth and not the hospital.

TTC naturally, five miscarriages 2006-2009, Immune issues




Posts: 4,415

Reg: Oct 3rd 2005

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Tuesday, June 17th 2008, 4:33pm

Sounds like a right old sod :cross:

You are perfectly within your rights to ask for another consultant. If it were me I'd speak to my midwife and ask her to recommend a consultant. They can only advise you on the type of birth you 'should' have, not dictate that you will have un-necessary major surgery! X(


4 baby angels, forever in our hearts


  • "philippa_s" is no longer a member of FZ

Posts: 2,854

Reg: Jan 12th 2008

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Tuesday, June 17th 2008, 4:45pm

Hi Susie

He sounds like a right prick!!!!!!!! I'm not sure if ur in same PCT as me but I have chosen midwife led care and won't have to see a consultant unless any probs. Can you not change to this too?

But how insulting!!!! I'd be really peeved if it was me!

P x

P.S. Do your college want more guinea pigs to practice on :P
2 gorgeous girls and 1 on the way



    United Kingdom

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Tuesday, June 17th 2008, 5:19pm


Originally posted by philippa_s

He sounds like a right prick!!!!!!!!

Spot on!!!

Unfortunately, consultants are not experts in natural birth, they witness very few because they're only called in if there's problem. Fair enough if your blood pressure's a problem during your pregnancy, he might have a point about intervention but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it eh? For now I wouldn't worry about what he says you must do because as Missy says, it's really nothing to do with him if you and your baby are ok.

I'm guessing you're booked in at Wigan and leigh hospital?



Posts: 1,872

Reg: Oct 14th 2007

Location: London

Children: Alfred born 10.12.2008 Florence born 21.10.2011

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Tuesday, June 17th 2008, 8:26pm

Sorry you had such a rotten appt, have to agree with the others, would def change consultant and or utilise midwives more.

I'll be 39 when delivering and my midwife was keen for a home birth (1st baby) or birthing unit run by midwives, have opted for birthing unit.

If there were medical reasons then I agree this is different if not it is your choice.


Me 42, DH 43
Nat Pg - m/m 05
unexplained infertility
4xIUI BFN, 1st IVF Oct 07 BFN
1st FET Feb 08 BFP

2nd FET Jan 11 BFP

This post has been edited 1 times, last edit by "alie" (Jun 17th 2008, 8:29pm)

  • "SusieWinwood" started this thread

Posts: 742

Reg: Jul 4th 2006

Location: Sunny Atherton, Manchester! :-D

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Wednesday, June 18th 2008, 8:55am

Philippa - we always need Guinea Pigs! :D

Bells - I'm with Bolton Royal. (Townleys as was)

The Cons is a nice chap don't get me wrong and the midwife we saw last time said he was being over cautious, but please don't write me off before the event.

He wants to see me in 4 weeks for my 20 week scan so I'll test the water then.

As for my BP - he even rediued my meds yesterday so its obviously not that big a deal! ?(

Thanks for your support ladies

Susie x

Me 39+3 ok
DH 39 Azoospermia
3xDIUI all BFN
Plan B AI known donor, 4 x BFN :tears:
:BFP: 22 March 2008! happydance :sticky:please



    United Kingdom

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Wednesday, June 18th 2008, 9:44am

I had mine there.....

You have ages yet for things to change; do you have any antenatal appointments at your local doctors surgery? It may be worth speaking to a midwife there, when they may have more time to chat, and laying your hopes and fears out on the table.

The last time I was with Bolton Hospital I saw a different midwife every time, I only met the one that delivered my last baby when she walked into my living room as I was pushing so as much as I want to recommend that you make alliances with your midwife, I have a feeling you might get a different one every time :rolleyes: I think you 'can', however, be quite clear and firm in what you want and what you don't want. His reasons for intervention are quite lame at the moment!

Posts: 1,321

Reg: Oct 2nd 2007

Location: Notinghamshire

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Thursday, June 19th 2008, 8:59am

RE: First ante natal appointment - not happy.

Hey honey

How annoying is that - check of the man!!! Speak to the midwife babes, and have the C section as a back up plan, but try for whta you want to do sweetie, its you baby and your bod!!!


Proud mum to Eric after 3 years TCC!!!



Posts: 5,387

Reg: Jan 10th 2007

Location: Somerset

Children: 5 kids aged 21,18,14,13 and a little miracle born April 09

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Thursday, June 19th 2008, 10:26pm

Grr makes me angry that the consultants try and force you into an assisted birth when you are probably perfectly capable of delivering normally. I ahd my first two babies in a consultant unit, and I am sure that ahd I gone to a midwife unit I would not have had intervention. My 3rd and 4th children were born in a midwife unit, and it was the most fantastic experience of my life. Even my son, who had a shoulder dystocia, was delivered by the midwife, with no episiotomy and no tear.

There's a lot to be said for the skills of midwives. Most midwife units are within easy reach of a cons unit, so if push comes to shove, (or even if shoving doesn't shift it!) you can be transferred quickly and easily.

Hope you manage to get the birth you want Susie, and please don' be pushed along by anyone.
Me 35,DH 36 (Severe Oligospermia.).
4th ICSI :BFP:
I have 4 lovely big kids
Thomas Derren (Thom) July 1990
Luke Benjamin August 1993
Harley John Oliver June 1997
Alexandria Aimee Jay (Alex) July 1998
Lochlan Cassius James April 2009 (4th attempt at ICSI)