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  • "Debs" started this thread

Posts: 218

Reg: Mar 15th 2006

Location: Scotland

Children: 2 DD 11 & 3yrs old. DS born 16/11/12. 2 natural 1 iui

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Saturday, May 16th 2009, 5:21pm

DH Gone off me

Don't know if any of you ladies have the same problem but my DH has no interest in sex what so ever. I can count on one hand the amount of times this year. He says that he's scared he hurts the baby (he wishes) and the bigger the baby is getting the more he is adamant it's not going to happen. I feel so ugly & fat as it is without him adding to it, or do you think i'm being selfish? He is very loving and always kissing & cuddling me but I can't help thinking how am I going to survive the next few months???? :bawl: I said to him earlier that I can't bear this anymore and his reply was " it's only for another 9 weeks" but really it's not only for 9 weeks because that's only when i'm due so it will prob be a while after that X(

TTC 5 Years
Me 30 - DH 32
DD - 8
1st IUI 25/10/08 BFP

Our beautiful little miracle finally arrived on Tues 14/07/09 :D Baby Cara x

Posts: 3,006

Reg: Oct 4th 2005

Location: Scotland

Children: Max born March 07 - thanks to frozen embryo transfer, our little miracle

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Saturday, May 16th 2009, 5:24pm

hey mine went off it from the second he seen the heartbeat at 6 weeks - i sympathise hun!!!

5 x ICSI b.f.n
1 x FET resulting in my gorgeous son born 2007



Posts: 5,387

Reg: Jan 10th 2007

Location: Somerset

Children: 5 kids aged 21,18,14,13 and a little miracle born April 09

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Saturday, May 16th 2009, 6:09pm

Yep mine too! I haven't had sex for a year! Once i was pregnant he wouldn't come near me. Didn't even get a kiss and a hug through the whole of me pregnancy and I felt awful. I felt fat and ugly and that I was only useful to him to be a baby carrier. He is warming back up a bit now though, and has even started saying nice things about how much weight I have lost, and he een every now and then pinches my bum! One of these days he's gonna ask for nookie and I'll tell him to bugger off!!

Don't worry hun, it's perfectly normal for your hubby to go off of sex. He hasn't gone off you though, it just feels like it!!
Me 35,DH 36 (Severe Oligospermia.).
4th ICSI :BFP:
I have 4 lovely big kids
Thomas Derren (Thom) July 1990
Luke Benjamin August 1993
Harley John Oliver June 1997
Alexandria Aimee Jay (Alex) July 1998
Lochlan Cassius James April 2009 (4th attempt at ICSI)

Posts: 512

Reg: Aug 24th 2008

Children: 2 daughters

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Sunday, May 17th 2009, 11:23am

mine too debs. We have had sex a couple of times but only in the last week because i want this baby outta me now! lol He won't cuddle me and hates touching my belly because when the baby moves he finds it really weird!! He too thinks he'll hurt the baby. It does make me feel unattractive but im hoping afterwards it'll go back to normal. I think men think these babies are really fragile. We went over a speed bump the other day a bit too fast and he was really concerned she was hurt lol. He also wont lean across me as he thinks he'll crush her! these men eh
DH poor motility-Excellent SA following change in diet

  • "philippa_s" is no longer a member of FZ

Posts: 2,854

Reg: Jan 12th 2008

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Sunday, May 17th 2009, 12:13pm

I think my DP is a bit odd then as he went the other way :snigger: (or maybe that was me and he just went along with it????)
2 gorgeous girls and 1 on the way

Posts: 491

Reg: Aug 24th 2008

Location: aberdeen

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Sunday, May 17th 2009, 12:23pm

Same here debs! DH refused in the first 12 weeks incase he caused miscarriage (which I found quite amusing but played along with him). 19 weeks on and still nothing. He says its me thats not in the mood!! I guess it is a bit of both but he seems to have totally gone off the idea and I definitely haven't.

Like yours he's totally loving always toughing my tummy and saying nice things. He also says how lovely I look. He even squidges my bum and says its got juicy (which he thinks this is a compliment!) But still, does he want sex? Eh no!!

Seems like its totally normal, if a bit frustrating!

Just tell him its a great way to induce labour nearer the time :snigger:
Sept '08 1st IVF :BFN:
Jan '09 2nd IVF :BFP: bab10
Dec '11 3rd IVF :BFN: 1xfrostie
June '12 failed thaw
Nov '12 4th IVF :BFN: 3 snow babies

Posts: 165

Reg: Jul 3rd 2007

Location: South West

Children: on way :)

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Sunday, May 17th 2009, 1:43pm

i told my DH it was a good way of inducing labour and i swear he would have ran for the hills if he could!!
we did have a good chat about the lack of 'it' though and are both going to make a big effort after baby arrives and i feel ok
fingers crossed!

36 yrs
1 yr clomid
ICSI July 06 - BFP, m/c 5 weeks
FET March 07 - BFN
ICSI July 07 - BFN
IVF Nov 07 - BFP, m/c 5 weeks
ICSI April 08 - BFP, m/c 5 weeks
ICSI Sept 08 with steroids - BFP, saw heartbeat at 5 weeks!




Posts: 15,592

Reg: Feb 8th 2008

Location: stoke-on-trent

Children: 2 miracle icsi boys and 2 step kids.

What's Up?
Getting ready for another egg donation!!!

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Sunday, May 17th 2009, 1:46pm

I'm with Phillipa mines gone the other way.

Men deal with things in funny ways.x

ICSI 1 Apr 08-m/c 9.5.8
ICSI 2 Dec 08 (ES) -I'm a mummy Kaynan arrived 19.8.09! :heart:
ICSI 3 Dec 10 (ES) -BFN
FET Mar 11- BFP- M/C ;(
ICSI 4 (ES) -:BFP: 1.7.11 Cobi arrived 09.03.12 [zx160]
Egg donation Aug 2012 BFN for recipient- gutted
Egg donation Dec 2012 Recipient :BFP:
Egg donation 27.05.2013- not great - please pray for the recipient :dust:



  • "Debs" started this thread

Posts: 218

Reg: Mar 15th 2006

Location: Scotland

Children: 2 DD 11 & 3yrs old. DS born 16/11/12. 2 natural 1 iui

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Sunday, May 17th 2009, 7:07pm

Well it looks like i'm going to have to live with it :bawl: He did say today about us booking a weekend away in September just the 2 of us so that sounds promising but then I realised IT'S ONLY MAY X( X( can I cope for another 4 months??? NO!!!!! I suppose I have to take his feelings in to consideration aswell as my own and I have to admit he hasn't had a drink or that since I found out I was pg so I suppose I could've had worse.

Good to know I'm not the only woman lacking in the bedroom department lol. x

TTC 5 Years
Me 30 - DH 32
DD - 8
1st IUI 25/10/08 BFP

Our beautiful little miracle finally arrived on Tues 14/07/09 :D Baby Cara x



Posts: 1,063

Reg: Mar 6th 2008

Location: London

Children: Alexander born after 4th IVF/ICSI

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Thursday, May 21st 2009, 8:42am

As I recall there was rather a lot of 'Rabbit' talk in the third tri when I was there - need I say more......

Sept 2007 IVF BFN - Oct 2007 Tubes removed - Nov 2007 ICSI BFN - March 2008 ICSI : BFN
June 2008 - :BFP:

Posts: 493

Reg: May 20th 2007

Location: London

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Wednesday, May 27th 2009, 7:58am

Ha! glad you haven't lost your sense of humour Saro, now youre a mummy.... I swear it was all the 'rabbiting' that brought on my show and waters breaking at 38wks. Well, dh wasnt interested, infact H is 9wks old now and we still havent managed it! Is this normal? We've been so busy/knackered/stressed especially cos of H's reflux, that sex has gone out the window :sadface:
Just realised its coming up for a year :rolleyes: You arent alone mrs smiff!

    United Kingdom

Posts: 553

Reg: Nov 22nd 2008

Location: Worthing, West Sussex

Children: 2 Beautiful Babies. One of Each!

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Friday, May 29th 2009, 8:15am

Hey Debs mine is exactly the same

He came out with excuse after excuse:
I dont wanna hurt the babies
I may drown them
They can see my willy
I can feel them move..................
It went on and on and on

He wont even kiss and cuddle me as that could lead to the forbidden deed. Bless him.

I envy the women who's DP have gone the other way, then on the other hand if he did give in now i would probably feel so fat and self conscious that i would not want to do it either.

You are definately not alone xx
bab15 bab16 Sa-Leanne xx