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  • "Limpet" started this thread

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1

Monday, April 10th 2006, 9:51pm

How life is totally and utterly different

There are so many FZers about to give birth in the next month or so and there's a thread I've been meaning to start about how life with a baby is so totally utterly different from what you're imagining.

For many of us, this baby is so wanted, and so longed for, and so loved before it even arrives, but reality can be very different to what we're expecting. That's not to say it's not amazing because it really really is (!), but I don't believe you can really know what it's like until it happens to you.

It's so common to hear something like "having a baby changes your life" and "you wonder what you used to do before the baby arrived", but what is so difficult is to describe the difference. I'm hoping that anyone who has had a child, but particularly those who have entered parenthood recently, can give some insight on this thread into how it's different. I'm not suggesting obvious practical things like sleepless nights, or hints on how to feed etc etc, but more about how it's changed you or your attitudes.

I'll start, but I had my DS just over two years ago, so my memories of life without a child aren't that fresh any more. Whenever I do something, I try to make sure it's in his best interests, even if he doesn't think it is, or even if it's not what I particularly want. For example, now he's a toddler, he doesn't always want a cuddle even if I do - sometimes he's too busy playing, or too busy trying to be grown up, so I don't force even a quick cuddle on him. That may sound obvious, but sometimes it's quite sad not to have the physical closeness that he depended on when he's younger - as a mother, you can get used to that closeness and rely on it in your own way for your own feeling of wellbeing. That isn't a very good example, but I wouldn't have thought of it without having a child of my own. I suppose a message from that is to make the most of the dependence of the early months (even though the dependence is also difficult in itself) but to respect when your child actually needs its own space - even a young baby can be overhandled. Even though its crying might make you think it needs more holding, just sometimes it may benefit from less.

You see, I'm even struggling to describe this one example well! Georgie, Sunshine, Sam, Jessica, Zig, Bookworm, Jojo et al - please give us your recent insight!

Limpet
Had a total of three fresh IVF cycles and three frozen transfers (embryos and blastocysts)
m/c @ 11 weeks in 2007 DS1 and DS2 born from fresh IVF cycles :D
:D

pirhanachomp

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2

Monday, April 10th 2006, 10:10pm

ERM.. pobably not the best time for me to describe it....

I cetainly cannot imagine life without him now!! its like he's always been here!

Waking up first thing in the morning and seeing him smile at you is one of the best feelings in the world, the way he wiggles his little arms up in the air because he wants you to pick him up, to give him one of your big special cuddles...

I suddenly find myself planning my routes to places, when your a walker you take things for granted, but when you've suddenly got a pram you notice things more - ooh i best not take my pram through that short cut, it may get stuck or really muddy....

at first things are very daunting, it never occurs to you that you will be speniding every day for the next year constantly steralising, washing and making up feeds but after a couple of weeks you can master the art of fitting them into your other household chores and you dont even really notice you do them anymore!

You start to see the world from a babies perspective, the amount of times I've wandered around shops and been 'feeling' things and thinking, ooh doesn't that feel/look nice?! and the look of excitment as you rub their hands over the new 'texture' as they've never experienced anything so wonderful before!

at first you also worry about what people will think of you talking 'baby' and you may feel a tad stupid, but soon enough you'll be wandering around the supermarket coming out with the most ridiculous things and not even batting an eyelid to passers by!

Them crying can be an awful thing too, it seems to wrench up a part of your soul that you never knew existed! its not a feeling I can describe really, until you've experienced it yourself you wont know either! sometimes it can be the most annoying sound in the world, particulary as they seem to do it when your trying to do something i.e. eat1 other times you feel so sorry for them becausethey cant tell you whats wrong with them that you want to hold them and not let them go!

I can guarentee though that however your feeling you can never imagine what life was like without them, and your feelings will differ from day to day!

I hope you all enjoy your lives as new mums, and remember we are ALL here if you need us :]

Jessica x x

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Monday, April 10th 2006, 10:30pm

I still have to pinch myself that I am actually holding my daughter in my arms! We were so superstitious throughout the pregnancy we wouldn't allow ourselves to look to the future - now we have all those lovely family things to look forward to which were so painful in the past.

That aside before Jessica came along we sort of had this image of her being like a little doll that needed feeding and changing but basically wouldn't really give a lot back or actually 'do' anything for the first few months. The reality was that she was born already with her own little personality - there were things she definately didn't like (like having her hands tucked into the sheets) and did like (like having a bath and having no clothes on LOL!).

She is quite a serious little thing at times and spends ages just staring into your eyes which is sometimes a bit disconcerting - my DH says she is reading our souls to see if we are good or bad LOL!


This post has been edited 1 times, last edit by "Primrose" (Apr 10th 2006, 10:32pm)


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Monday, April 10th 2006, 11:21pm

I don't think you're ever yourself again after you have a child. You are no longer a free spirit answerable only to yourself, your main reason for existing is for your child, everything else is secondary.

Part of you is tied up in them, it's like giving a chunk of your soul away. You have to trust that they, and other people, will look after that chunk of your soul because it's the most precious thing you can ever give and once you give it away you can't take it back, you are never whole again........ that to me is the feeling of being a parent.





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Tuesday, April 11th 2006, 1:52am

Your priorities really do change. You do put the child first.
You have to make an effort to do things for yourself, but it is important for your sanity.

Chilli

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Tuesday, April 11th 2006, 7:35am

Well I am sobbing, I am having a really emotional morning then I read this!

I am trying to get my head round how our lifes will change but obviously won't know till it happens I have this fear which has hit me today that my parents aren't here, we are very close and I don't quite know how I am going to do this without them being on hand. I know that sounds maybe childish or needy what I mean is not baby sitting or anything like that I mean the days put together, doing shopping, dinner, popping over, the general everyday stuff my sister gets to share with them on a daily basis. The fact my niece knows the sound of their car pulling up outside and gets excited my child won't and I feel so sad about it.

Thank you for this thread it has helped and you all sound what's the word??...............complete xx

  • "victoria82" is no longer a member of FZ

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Tuesday, April 11th 2006, 8:00am

chillie

dont worry too much about not having your mother round. we didnt have mind around as she live aboard. it was hard as you always think your mother will be there to teach you all the new thing about motherhood. even though my mother-in-law live locally she was totally useless.

the person i could call mum are our midwives that visit us everyday, they where our life saver. they answer our question, teach us how to bath Eliana, fed her and how to express. they where a good support to us. those where our family at that early age.

as long as you got a good partner near you it will help a great deal. those few weeks will be hard but prepare your mind for them.

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Tuesday, April 11th 2006, 8:23am

To me motherhood is the most amazing journey. At times i am overwhelmed with happiness. At others i am sad, frightened and scared by my responsibilties.
when he is ill, i will do ANYTHING to make him well. I want to protect him from all the evil in the world and keep him safe. Emotions which i 've never felt before in my life.
Shopping trips take on whole new meaning. Have to l;ook for somewher to feed and change him . Somewhere with ramps, somewher smoke free. Easy to park- things that never entered my head before.

But- when he smiles- i am in love :D





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Tuesday, April 11th 2006, 8:30am

Its the overwhelming feeling of love when you first look into those bright little eyes........true love: Love that you have NEVER experienced before. Its the first little smile, the first chuckle, the first word, the first roll over. THe tears the tantrums all seem isignificant when you sit and look at the precious babies faces looking at you.

Life is no longer a game and a race.....life is complete: Life is family and family is your life. xxxx
Mum of 3 year old twins.
Had ICSI worked first time


Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what your gonna get!!



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Tuesday, April 11th 2006, 11:03am

Its like you're no longer worried about yourself, your baby is your first and pretty much only priority. I find myself gazing at her when she is sleeping, with an enormous feeling of contentment. For the first time in my life I feel complete. I was pretty happy with my life before, but this beats anything hands down! It is all very samey at first, with each day just being about changing and feeding, but as they start to do different things, like the first smile, the first time you realise they recognise (sp!) you, the first time they coo at you its all worthwhile!

At times its quite stressful and tiring, but there is never really a point where you think 'I am too tired to do this' you find the energy from somewhere!

Accept as much help as is offered. I remember feeling quite guilty the first night Lollypop went to stay with my mum, like I was a failure because I needed some sleep etc, but in the end it gave me time to just chill out and catch up with myself, sometimes you just need to pause for breath.

xxx








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  • "Limpet" started this thread

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Tuesday, April 11th 2006, 8:07pm

There are some lovely posts on this thread already.

It really is difficult to imagine the depth of love you can have for your baby. I really believe I can understand people who would die to let their child live. I hope that would never happen to me, but the strength of the bond between him and me is indescribable. Other posts have already said if you hear them cry, and know that it's because something is wrong, it scrunches your heart up. Even if (now he's at toddler age) my DS cries just to annoy and try to get his own way, I look at him and love him because he's testing how this world works.

And how can another person make you so willing to give up things for yourself? Yes, it's really important to have some element of "me-time", especially in the early weeks, and that doesn't just mean sleep, but you find that your whole life revolves around the baby and that actually you want it to because it's the most important thing in your life and always will be.

As they say, once a mother, always a mother. That's just how it is. The agony of the problems and the beauty of the love you feel, both together. I couldn't be without it.

Limpet
Had a total of three fresh IVF cycles and three frozen transfers (embryos and blastocysts)
m/c @ 11 weeks in 2007 DS1 and DS2 born from fresh IVF cycles :D
:D

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Tuesday, April 11th 2006, 11:31pm

It really is amazing just how much everything changes. Suddenly you become so sensitive to everything that your child needs and wants, keeping them safe and happy are your main concerns. Because I was so ill at first I became so sad and to make matters worse i became even worse when i started to think that I should be really happy and gratefull to have our little miracle, but for some reason, I couldnt stop crying. When I realised that the sadness that I was going through wasnt to do with Ella, I saw a rapid improvement. I was happier than i could ever describe in words about having ella but that the feelings where coming from all the hormones sorting themselves out. Ella is 4 months old now, when she see's us she smiles immediatly and we know that our love for her and her love for us is unconditional.. I wouldnt even have to think of giving my life to save hers, she is our world and we adore her.
Good luck to all the expectant mums. Enjoy being pregnant and enjoy your own little miracles when they arrive!!
Love
Jo x


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Wednesday, April 12th 2006, 1:19am

On a lighter note ;) you know you're a parent when you feel rested and overjoyed because your child has just slept for 5 hours straight during the night! :D

Missy

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Wednesday, April 12th 2006, 8:04am

LOL Sun!!!! :D Have to agree there!

xxx








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Wednesday, April 12th 2006, 9:37am

On another lighter note...I used to be a right prude before giving birth now I have lost all my inhibitions about my body - I walk about 90% of the time in a state of undress with one boob hanging out. I have to make a special effort to cover up when the postman knocks LOL

You also find yourselves having discussions with DH about the colour/quantity of your child's poo that day.. who says romance is dead


This post has been edited 1 times, last edit by "Primrose" (Apr 12th 2006, 9:39am)


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Wednesday, April 12th 2006, 10:18am

Thanks ladies for all your efforts in posting.

I can't wait to enjoy a lot of the things mentioned. Every day of my pregancy is such a blessing to me.
THANK GOD OUR FAMILY IS NOW COMPLETE
ME-36 DH-42
Male factor/PCOS
Ist IVF/ICSI (Eggshare)-Jul/Aug'05-BFN
2nd IVF/ICSI (Eggshare)-Nov/Dec'05-BFP

Natural FET- Dec '07-(Abandoned no ovulation)
Med FET-Feb/Mar'08-BFP miscarried/ectopic (right tube removed & had a lap dye)
SUPRISE NATURAL BFP-May'08

Saz

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Wednesday, April 12th 2006, 10:27am

This thread is fantastic. It really gives an insight and I cannot wait until I experience these for myself!!

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Wednesday, April 12th 2006, 10:46am

yes, you can also talk with colleagues (male & female) who have had kids about nipples! :D

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Wednesday, April 12th 2006, 10:48am

PMSL! :D



  • "Limpet" started this thread

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Saturday, October 21st 2006, 9:11pm

Quoted

Originally posted by Bells
I don't think you're ever yourself again after you have a child. You are no longer a free spirit answerable only to yourself, your main reason for existing is for your child, everything else is secondary.

Part of you is tied up in them, it's like giving a chunk of your soul away. You have to trust that they, and other people, will look after that chunk of your soul because it's the most precious thing you can ever give and once you give it away you can't take it back, you are never whole again........ that to me is the feeling of being a parent.


I've just bumped up another thread on the practical side of parenting in the early weeks, but here's another one from a few months ago about the emotional side. I've kept them in the third trimester so that mums-soon-to-be will read them.

Bells, your post that I've quoted here is so spot on. :D
Had a total of three fresh IVF cycles and three frozen transfers (embryos and blastocysts)
m/c @ 11 weeks in 2007 DS1 and DS2 born from fresh IVF cycles :D
:D

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Saturday, October 21st 2006, 9:57pm

I missed this ages ago but M&D were newborns!! bit busy! it's changed me completely, all my time is spent with M&D & I cherish these moments.

My life has completely changed so much, obviously for the better. Limpet, you are so right when you said you don't know until it happens. I didn't realise babies can scream so loud!! my old life was great but actually boring & we had so much time, now our whole life is M&D, I never could imagine having 2 newborns, but they are adorable & when you listen & watch them smiling at you & cuddling you, you know then it's the best feeling in the world & how proud we are. When they were born, your world depends on them, they are everything, theres nothing you wouldn't do for them, even when they are over tired or crying, as a full time Mummy (for now!) theres nothing of my old life I do now, but I & wouldn't change a sinlge thing, as long as my daughters are loved & we do our best then I'm happy.
I can't think of anything else except M&D. I stare at them asleep, they look perfect.

Good luck to all you mummies to be. you will know that feeling soon. :D

xx
PCOS
TTC 7 Yrs
2nd IVF - Blastocyst Embies
unbelievable BFP & TWINS!!
Now have beautiful twin girls




My family is now finally complete.

This post has been edited 2 times, last edit by "lisaw2308" (Oct 21st 2006, 9:59pm)


Chilli

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Saturday, October 21st 2006, 10:02pm

I agree Bells you have hit the nail on the head there.

it's weird reading back on old posts I remember that day, i honestly have NO idea at all what i did with my time before my other half came along (that's Mabel not DH :D!) she is my other half I love her so much :]

ps ok ok ok ok my time was spent on here!

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Saturday, September 13th 2008, 9:08pm

Bumping this up.

The only thing I have to add for all of you ladies about to become first time mums is that you may have thought that you had loved before, your DP/H, your parents, Geaorge Clooney, chocolate even, but you are about to discover how true love really feels. Enjoy!





Torisen

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Saturday, September 13th 2008, 9:41pm

I second that!!
It is like nothing else when your child comes and gives you one kiss on your fore head and then one on each cheek and then just gives you the biggest and greatest cuddle in the world. (I got a cold at the moment so I told him no mouth kisses :) )



oooooooooh, I forgot about George!!!! mmmmh, those where the days!!
ICSI Jan 2006 - BFP
MC one twin at 6 weeks
DS born in Oct 2006
BF DS 10 months 3 weeks and 5 days
FET 11/07, ICSI 12/07 (ABANDONED), ICSI 2/08, IUI 5/08 - BFN
Clomid IUI 7/08 BFP MC a twin... again :(


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Saturday, September 13th 2008, 9:50pm

Another great thing about parenthood? When your 18 year old son tells you that you have been a fantastic mum and he couldn't have wanted for any more than he got. That is when you know that the past 18 years have all been worth every tear and tantrum, every smile and giggle, every telling off and praise. Every night of angst as your little one fights a fever that won't abate. Every tooth breaking through, the first steps the first words, the first day at school. The first time your kid comes home and tells you he's been bullied. The first broken bone. The first stay in hospital. The first passed exams. the first girlfriend. The first broken heart. The first job. The first motorbike, then a car. It's all been bloody fantastic and I cherish every day I have with all of my kids. I am proud of each and every one of them for everything they have achieved, and I can't wait to go through it all once again with my new baby.
Me 35,DH 36 (Severe Oligospermia.).
4th ICSI :BFP:
I have 4 lovely big kids
Thomas Derren (Thom) July 1990
Luke Benjamin August 1993
Harley John Oliver June 1997
Alexandria Aimee Jay (Alex) July 1998
Lochlan Cassius James April 2009 (4th attempt at ICSI)



  • "victoria82" is no longer a member of FZ

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Saturday, September 13th 2008, 10:31pm

the best moment for me recently is hearing her out of the blue saying "love you mummy" ;( :smile: i will cherish that moment forever lurve

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Tuesday, September 16th 2008, 12:38pm

Mrs J - thanks for bumping this up, especially as there is a bumper crop of FZ babies due in the next few weeks!

Have got tears in my eyes reading the threads! Cant wait to be able to add some stories of my own.

Kat x
:cat:



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Tuesday, September 16th 2008, 12:51pm

the thing that's changed for me is that i feel more confident in every day life- just knowing you have created a perfect little life, and are doing the best job in the world every day really lifts you as a person.

also the amount of love you feel, you never just get used to it or take it for granted- it's always there and it's always amazing every single day. i still feel massive surges of love for my four year old daughter just watching her and the little things she does, it's great!
TTC naturally.
Severe Endo & Adhesions.
Excision of Endo June '08.
Baby girl born May '09!

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Tuesday, September 16th 2008, 3:39pm

Overwhelming love and pride I think - emotions I thought I'd felt but then E came along and I just thought 'ah, this is what its all about'!

I am so proud of her and all her achievements and how amazing she is but also proud of me too for creating her, and helping her become this incredible person. A really great moment was at her christmas concert last year - when all the kids trooped in all you could hear was E declaring really loudly to her friends 'that's MY mummy and daddy' - I was sooooooooo proud that she was proud of us. Even thinking about it is making my eyes well up!

And love, well, there's nothing like it. All the cliches about how you'd die for that person, walk over broken glass, sacrifice anything and everything - all true. Having E was like finding a part of me I didn't know was missing - she just completed me.

But, in all honesty, with that intense love came something I wasn't expecting - fear. I think I'm very over protective but the fear of something awful happening to her sometimes takes over and I just can't help myself. The thought of not having her simply terrifies me. And also, I'm now more cautious where I'm concerned too - before E I never worried desperately about my health or well being. Now I do - because I want to be here for her, to watch her life unfold and to be part of it.

God, I sound neurotic! And hormonal! Anyway, just some of the ways my life has changed - hard graft, not much sleep, and sometimes little thanks but ALWAYS worth it!

x

x






My family is complete...I am grateful every day

DD1, natural miracle, 2005
DD2, IVF miracle, 2008


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Tuesday, September 16th 2008, 3:58pm

I was a blubbering emotional wreck before I read this thread :bawl:

xx

Me 40
DP 43
twin boys born '93, dd born '98 [zx076]


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Tuesday, September 16th 2008, 5:14pm

Quoted

Originally posted by Jodie
- hard graft, not much sleep, and sometimes little thanks but ALWAYS worth it!

x

x


I think that sums it up perfectly!





mayo

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Tuesday, September 16th 2008, 5:48pm

Hey ...I'm still a week away from moving to 3rd tri, but just been having a look around!
One thing I think is important about becoming a mum for the 1st time is to make allowances for yourself....don't beat yourself up if you are finding things difficult and don't be afraid to say so or to ask for some help....I think I was of the belief I had to be 'supermum' and have everything perfect for my little one and got quite upset with myself if things didn't go according to plan.
I remember sitting in a heap, bawling my eyes out sometime around week 2 because I had put all the baby's clothes into the washing machine but had pressed the wrong button and instead of washing them, I put them on the dryer cycle (was a washer dryer) and ruined the lot - I couldn't stop crying as I thought I was such a failure! I can see that it was just one of those things now (and there are lots of 'those things' seem to happen when you are sleep deprived!) but it felt like the end of the world at the time...how could I look after and protect my baby if I couldn't even wash the clothes...etc...
I am forever grateful that I got to go through my 1st pregnancy in blissful ignorance of half of the struggles people go through to have a baby so I can imagine that, since some of you have been trying for your babies for quite some time, the pressure you put on yourself may be even greater, but please know that if you have a moment of self doubt...you are not a failure because your house is a bit messy or you haven't washed your hair for a week...you are busy being a fantastic mother to your precious baby and you are the best person for the job of mummy! Enjoy it !
Motherhood may be hard work, but I can't think of a better reward than when your baby looks into your eyes for the first time or when they smile for the first time...nothing beats that!
Mayo

baby boy born Aug. '03
baby boy born April '06
m/c June '07 at 5w
m/c Oct '07 at 6w
m/c Dec '07 at 4w 4d
baby boy born Dec '08
m/c March '10 at 6w


mrsjasper

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Tuesday, September 16th 2008, 6:38pm

I think you're absolutely right Mayo. I had a good 6-12 weeks of self doubt, not just the odd moment! But then they smile at you, and you think 'maybe I'm doing it right after all'.





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