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Wednesday, May 9th 2007, 4:56pm

when to tell spud????

can i just pick the brains of anyone who has a ds or dd and has had to tell them they are pg?

spud is saying i have a big tummy and i think he has sussed it....BUT.....how long did you leave it to sit them down and tell them properly???

im still worried about m/cing and it would break his heart if i told him and anything did happen :( but how long should i leave it??

thanks in advance ladies

love k xxx



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Wednesday, May 9th 2007, 5:01pm

well you only have a week to get to a safe point, and I think this one is here to stay, so I would go with your instinct and tell him when you feel comfortable hun :))

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KIRSTY G

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Wednesday, May 9th 2007, 6:35pm

T is 5 now and we told him just after 12 weeks ... we felt the same as you, and were terrified in case something happened, but felt that there was never a 'perfect' time. At first he seemed to not be bothered even slightly ... but after a couple of days of it sinking in the questions started :rolleyes:

We did tell him pretty much straight away when we were pg last, but that turned out to be ectopic (he was almost 3 then) and then telling him we had lost it was heartbreaking .... for all of us ;( ... obviously i'm not saying that anything like that's gonna happen to you, just my experience ...)

Personally, I would wait till after 12 weeks hunni, and then enjoy the questions which follow ;)




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Wednesday, May 9th 2007, 7:30pm

thanks girls :hugs:

so....kirsty....what sort of questions did T ask???

the 'how did it get there?' question???

mmmmmm....yep, looking forward to that one! nooooooooooot! :D



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Wednesday, May 9th 2007, 7:36pm

the stork of course!!

ALthough I prefer the wishing story - tell him you & daddy wished for anothe baby, a little brother/sister for him & your wish came true!
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Wednesday, May 9th 2007, 7:37pm

awwww! plankers thats a lovely idea!!!

i will do that :] thanks hun

:hugs:

k xxx



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KIRSTY G

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Wednesday, May 9th 2007, 7:48pm

He knows practically everything ...
For the last 2 years ttc, we would get asked at least once a week if he could have a brother or sister (poor kid's got both now :laugh: ) so we told him that I had something broken in my belly, and the doctors needed to fix it, but they were busy helping other people so we would have to wait .... surprisingly enough, he got it :watson:

We did get how did it get there, but just told him that when a man and a woman have a special kind of hug the man puts a seed in the woman's belly which joins up with the seed in her belly and a baby grows. He asked how they would get out and I told him they come out of the place where a lady wee's (dunno if we've given it a name yet whoops2 ) or sometimes the doctor has to make a little cut in the woman's belly and take the baby out (just in case) ...

There were only a couple of things we had problems explaining .... and that was that you don't have to be married to make a baby, that boys have to be grown up before they can make babies .... oh, and explaining that his aunty (my sister) and her girlfriend (he understands about gay and straight) could only have a baby if someone helped them ... we try to answer any question he's got but did tell him we would explain that one better when he's older .... thought he was a bit young for DIUI :zipit:



This post has been edited 1 times, last edit by "KIRSTY G" (May 9th 2007, 7:49pm)


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Wednesday, May 9th 2007, 7:55pm

pmsl kirsty! that is so funny bless him!

he knows more than i do! you have explained it really well!

i was just thinking i might take him to my scan on the 22nd....what do you think to that??? or do you think that might be too much info in one go and make his brain hurt??

thanks for you help girls!

:hugs:

k xx



I'm running down the road like loose electricity, while the band in my head plays a strip tease!



KIRSTY G

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Wednesday, May 9th 2007, 8:08pm

We took T to ours at 14 weeks ... mixed reaction really ... he was interested for about 5 minutes then bored :rolleyes:
But for days ... no, weeks afterwards he told EVERYONE that he'd seen his brother and sister fighting in his mum's belly, asked loads of questions and couldn't wait to see them again.

I would say go for it, but don't be surprised if he's not interested for very long ... it is a lot to take in, and kids their age need a little time to sort through their thoughts.




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Wednesday, May 9th 2007, 8:09pm

i totally understand that hun, spud cant concentrate long enough to say a sentence lol!

i think i will take him tho, it might be something he really enjoys too....for all of 2 mins :D



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Wednesday, May 9th 2007, 9:29pm

I agree with the above, wait until you know things are safer.

However, we told Lucy immediately after I tested with ds and then we sent her ahead of us into her Nan's and told her to tell her, we wanted her to feel as involved as possible and not having had a problem ttc at that point, it not working was just not an issue.


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Thursday, May 10th 2007, 2:32pm

we waited quite a while before telling Callum :no: ---- i think it may have been 9 hours 8o - we were sooo excited :rolleyes: - on reflection though I had a bleed at 9 1/2 weeks and was terrified and wished we hadn't said anything so soon but everything turned out ok.

We took Callum along to our scan - I think it was 12 weeks - and he fell in love there and then :tears:

22nd May sounds like a fab date to tell spud --- my ickle boy's birthday lurve
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Friday, May 11th 2007, 10:14pm

When you tell them must surely depend on how old they are, but I agree with the general advice of getting beyond 12 weeks.

If Spud can't concentrate for long, then make sure somebody else is there to take him out of the scan once he's bored so that you can concentrate on it yourself rather than spend your time worrying about him and not looking at the scan yourself!

I didn't tell DS1 until I started wearing maternity clothes (5 months ish), but then he was not even two so he had absolutely no concept of time at all! And, he certainly didn't ask any questions either!
Had a total of three fresh IVF cycles and three frozen transfers (embryos and blastocysts)
m/c @ 11 weeks in 2007 DS1 and DS2 born from fresh IVF cycles :D
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