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  • "Natural_Horse" started this thread

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Monday, February 4th 2013, 6:00pm

Does she do it to just wind me up?

Hi,

I commented in another thread that my little girl, does not eat vegetables. Today we where at the in-laws and the little darling refused to even try the home made vegetable soup. She loves soup so I was surprised and tried to encourage her to eat it - massive fail! Grandma then steps in and gives it a try and she gobbled it up and then asked for more!!!

Why can someone else have more success? Is she doing it to winds me up? And then when we got home she refused to even try her dinner. Seriously felt like throwing her plate against the wall and storming out. Why does it wind me up so much? Is anyone else the same?

gemmab

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Monday, February 4th 2013, 6:15pm

Oh yeah this is normal. My lo eats things at nursery that I know he would never eat at home.

Not really much you can do about ut but keep your cool and know eventually she will eat more things.x

ICSI 1 Apr 08-m/c 9.5.8
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ICSI 2 Dec 08 (ES) -I'm a mummy Kaynan arrived 19.8.09! :heart:
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FET Mar 11- BFP- M/C ;(
ICSI 4 (ES) -:BFP: 1.7.11 Cobi arrived 09.03.12 [zx160]
Egg donation Aug 2012 BFN for recipient- gutted
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Egg donation 27.05.2013- not great - please pray for the recipient :dust:





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Monday, February 4th 2013, 7:48pm

Every night I come home to a report from our nanny about how brilliantly my girls have eaten. And all weekend I have to fight to get them to eat. I've decided to stop letting it wind me up on the basis that they eat well for 5 days a week so it won't do them any harm if they choose to go hungry at the weekend!
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Gracie

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Tuesday, February 5th 2013, 2:11pm

Hey

It's maddening isn't it! Freya can be just the same, although I think she's growing out of that stage a bit now. Try not to let it wind you up, your DD won't let herself go hungry. Try and ignore her behaviour and you may find that if you just leave her to it she'll scoff the lot before you've even noticed!

I don't worry so much these days even though Freya still refuses every type of veg known to man (thank heavens for pasta and Annabel Karmel's hidden vegetable sauce) she is pretty good with fruit so I figure that's half way there!

:goodluck:

xxx






Me - 40 AMH 1.79, DH - 45
TTC since 04/06
6 x TX to date, inc 2 DIVF in Barcelona

One early loss, 04/09
Freya Grace arrived on 6/11/10 - Perfect at 6lb and 1/2 oz

Amazing natural :BFP: on 12/02/12
Poppy Ann arrived on 13/10/12 - Born at home weighing 6lb 12oz

We got there in the end! happydance

  • "Natural_Horse" started this thread

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Tuesday, February 5th 2013, 3:01pm

Thanks ladies! It does wind me up and I do generally ignore it and leave it be. But to have the mother-inlaw have success and then the same day to have complete refusal of dinner just really, REALLY, got to me.

DD was great with eating anything and everything up until 12 months, then all veg had to be hidden. Now 13 months down the track I am just wondering if there is ever a light at the end of the tunnel?

gemmab

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Tuesday, February 5th 2013, 6:04pm

She will grow out of it Hun it will just take time. My oldest is much better now. But I do still find he might eat and one meal then be fussy at another cause he's just not that hungry.

It's so hard cause its the only thing with my oldest that winds me up.x

ICSI 1 Apr 08-m/c 9.5.8
FETJul 08-BFN
ICSI 2 Dec 08 (ES) -I'm a mummy Kaynan arrived 19.8.09! :heart:
ICSI 3 Dec 10 (ES) -BFN
FET Mar 11- BFP- M/C ;(
ICSI 4 (ES) -:BFP: 1.7.11 Cobi arrived 09.03.12 [zx160]
Egg donation Aug 2012 BFN for recipient- gutted
Egg donation Dec 2012 Recipient :BFP:
Egg donation 27.05.2013- not great - please pray for the recipient :dust:





Dusky7

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Wednesday, February 6th 2013, 3:25am

Mines the same hon, eats stuff at nursery she won't at home. Up until 6 months or so ago she wouldn't hardly eat anything for DH, he'd give up and say she won't eat it, I'd go in and she'd trough it all, drove him mad! It will pass, honest xxxx



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Tuesday, February 12th 2013, 8:59pm

Our two have the attention span of gnats, so dinner times are a nightmare. My DH uses reverse logic on them and keeps saying he is hungry and is going to eat the carrots, pasta (works through everything on their plates) and loads up their spoon and says he is just going to come back and eat it it but has to wash his hands/got a drink/another excuse first - they gobble their food down while he turns away and then burst out laughing. It is amazing how much they eat and it actually makes their meal times fun! Now they even load up their own cutlery, they say 'daddy's dinner' reach out the fork to him they quickly snatch it away and eat it when he pretends to try and eat it.

When he was away recently for 3 weeks I did the same and it worked every time. Another game Emilia plays is that he wants to be a baby again, so I have to hold her like a bay and feed her........she just started this a few days ago and again, lots of food seems to be eaten.

Of course there are times they just won't eat. But both are healthy weights and if they miss a meal of two, hey ho, they always make up for it.

I know it is hard not to be frustrated and even dare I say it hurt, when she is great with other people and a wee madam with you! Children know every button to press to wind up their parents and I have to say I think girls find those buttons a lot quicker than boys!

xx

Jannie
Aug 09 - IUI - BFN
; Oct 09 - ICSI - BFN; Jan 10 - ICSI cancelled;
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Jannie's Diary
Oscar and Emilia born 8th November 2010

This post has been edited 1 times, last edit by "Janniewall" (Feb 12th 2013, 9:00pm)


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Wednesday, February 13th 2013, 10:54am

Janniewall - I do a similar game where I ask DD to feed me. She loads up her spoon/fork, puts it to my mouth and then shoves it in her mouth with lots of laughter - but there's never a vegetable in sight when she does that. Works the same is I load up the spoon myself, she will grab it off me but is happy for me to eat the veggies!

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Wednesday, March 20th 2013, 2:38pm

Just to continue this thread, my little darling is now fighting me on everything! Nappy change, clothes change, in fact anything I ask her to do is met with a no and then a meltdown when I get on with it anyway.

Distraction, reasoning, bribery and ignoring just doesn't work. She gets herself so upset that she starts to heave at times. Or she flings herself away from me and ends up hurting herself.

50-75% of the time she is so good, happy and smiling. But the other times it's just an ongoing battle and my level of tolerance is rapidly decreasing. I have, I'm ashamed to say, yelled at her a couple of times and got up and stormed out of the room. Completely counterproductive and not the way I want to be as a parent.

I guess what I am looking for is reassurance that things do get better and that I'm not alone. Anyone else have a 2yo who is just plain hard work at times?

Jasper

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Wednesday, March 20th 2013, 7:01pm

I don't know of things get better but I certainly hope they do!! My DS is being really challenging too, he screams and fights when I try to put him in the car seat and is so strong I really struggle sometimes. He won't let me change his bum when he has done a poo, he completely ignores me when I tell him to stop something, I could go on!!! Likeyou I have raised voice and spoken to him in a way that I don't want too, I then get upset about!!! Its so tough some days I just feel like screaming!!x


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Buzzbee

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Wednesday, March 20th 2013, 7:17pm

My son is almost 20 months and is starting to behave like this. I really want to nip it in the bud but I'm not sure how best to deal with it. DH says I don't shout loudly enough. I try to talk firmly rather than shout. He knows I'm not happy as he stares at me like he knows he has done wrong but he doesn't learn his lesson and is back to having a tantrum or melt down if he can't get his own way. He flings his head back sometimes if I am holding him when I'm telling him off and almost head butts me.

I too would be interested to know how best to deal with this behaviour. I am sure it's normal as when I speak to other parents they say their child is / was the same but we still need to know how to deal with it don't we as I really don't want a child who thinks he can get away with this type of behaviour. I can't wait until he can talk more and we can communicate better as I am hoping that will help me to discipline him better.

NH - like Lily N is good a majority of the time and usually always laughing and happy but on the few times he does have these tantrums and behave naughty it really does get to me and I wonder what I have done wrong to make him act like this. He had a paddy the other day when we visited the dermatologist and he didn't want to sit on DH's knee while we spoke but she needed to look at his skin. He threw himself back (the plank!) and was screaming to be let down. DH just held him firmly and told him he had to stay where he was whether he liked it or not. IHe fought like mad and didn't listen. I grabbed a toy to try and distract him but it didn't work, I then offered him a drink and he tried to knock the cup out of my hand!! I just don't want people to think I have a brat as a child because he isn't for a majority of the time.

xx
An almost 4 year old son and a 21 month old daughter :)

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Wednesday, March 20th 2013, 9:18pm

Glad to hear that I am not alone but feel sympathy for you both as well.

Buzz bee - sometimes I don't think there is a way to avoid the tantrum, all you can do is ride the storm. Lily is fully aware of when she is doing naughty behaviour but nothing stops her. It's all about exerting control and tantrums are demonstrating their frustration. After all, the world revolves around them, surely they should everything they want, when they want.

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Thursday, March 21st 2013, 9:32am

thank god for that! i am not alone. mine is nearly 3 now, and still trying to exert his authority. yesterday it took 20 mns to get him in the car. i wear glasses and threatening him that my glasses were going in my pocket used to be enough to get him in car seat and strap him up. the back story of that is when i used to force him into his car seat never hurt him, but used my arm to lock him in place and grab the straps to strap him up, he used to hit me in the face,and knock my glasses off, so i would release him(stupid on my part) to retrieve my glasses. then he would escape again. so i learnt pretty fast to say i was taking them off and yes e would still hit me and pinch me and try to bite me if i got my face to close (yes his tantrums were and are that bad!) but he couldnt try to break £100 worth of glasses. now, we've had to move a step further - glasses in pocket doesnt work now. he climbs through the car, into the boot and everywhere other than he should be. i try the we are going shopping and if you get in your seat i'll buy you some sweets or you can have a ride blah blah blah. bribes dont always work. then its glasses in my pocket, and eventually i say im going to dump him out of the car and go without him. that was workin, now its not. i can dump him out of the car, shut his door and turn the engine on and he still stands there having a paddy and refusing to get in the car. i have been known to pick hm up kickng and screaming, go back in the house and unceremoniously dump him on the sofa and just not go out. bit difficult when we have an appointment to get to though!

it took him n hour and a half to put his shoes on the other day. wow, was i annoyed! but, he is like myself and his dad lol. once we all dig our heels in, there's no moving us. i also look after my mum during the day - she is 72 bless her and i take her out shopping and carry it in her house. she's had apartial hip replacement and then 6 weeks after that broke 4 toes in her weightbearing foot, so she's a little fragile. me and the children are the only people she sees from 1 day to the next, so him acting up is not what i need lol.

even at the moment, when i say we'e going to playgroup today (wed, thurs fri mornings) its a fight to get him in the car. i have mobilty issues and cant walk that far, so the car is my only option to get him out. dont get me wrong, i love the bones off him, every inch of him, but its just so damn hard right now. the only time he will get in the car willingly is when he's going to the childminders - he absolutely loves stella. sent him there originally because he had 'clingy issues'. couldnt leave him with his dad even, cos he'd scream for me the whole time i was gone. i was/am well aware of the fact that he starts nursery school in september and he will be 3 yrs, 2 months, very young. now he screams and kicks off when i come to collect him from stella's. im looking at getting him nto a pre-school nursery for 2 days a week, just to see if widening his world has a good influence on him.

he can be the sweetest boy alive. he will grin up at me, throw his arms around me and say "i love ya" and a big sloppy kiss and i melt there and then, but at other times he turns into this screeching angry person, and i dont know what to do, to either distract him or calm him down. im hopng pre-school nursery and then nursery itself will have a calming effect on him.

judging by the other 2 children i have, it will get better. but it goes in stages. my 5 year old, has started to calm down and tell me whats wrong, rather than throwing a wobbly, since starting reception class. my eldest (17 now) calmed down for a while then pre-puberty hit and he turned into this person i didnt recognise. then he got used to those hormones and turned back into the boy i knew and love, back to being good and sweet natured. than at 15 the hormones got him again, and he shifted round again. asserting authority, belligerent and downright snotty with me. 16-17 yrs. for the most part, ignored me. lived in his bedroom. however, last night, i popped my head round and said " goodnight baby, see you in the morning, love you" as i do every night and he replied the same with a smile. he was on skype to his girlfriend and i heard her say "why you telling her you love her cam?" and he said "cos she's my mum" she said "yeah but you dont tell her you love her" and he said " yes i do because she's amazing" aah bless him. i may have done some things wrong as a parent (we all do at some point, without even realising) but my heart swelled with love and pride for him, knowing he will defend me and he has no qualms in telling me he loves me too, o matter who he's talking to.

it does get better. just have to keep looking forward and remembering the good times, when things are hard. i try to take pride in the fact we bring our children up to think for themselves and reason for themselves. we try to instil a sense of independence in them. so it is going to turn around and bite you in the bum, when they argue back and try to show their independence.

all our children will go through stages of winding us up - that is the joy of children and it will get better, trust me :eyebrows: :laugh:

take care ladies, the hard days wont last forever

:xxx3: :xxx: :xxx3:
After a long hard infertility journey, i am now reluctantly done

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Thursday, March 21st 2013, 10:38am

Aww Jade - your oldest son is amazing! Well done for being about to maintain such a close relationship through the teenage years. Sorry your youngest is being a nightmare though.

My DD has had a meltdown in the car every day this week. She's either dropped a toy and I can't retrieve it for her, or she isn't allowed a toy (because of the first example), so she takes her shoes off and throws them at me and then I won't retrieve them for her! Or the front passenger seat is too close to her or too far from her...

Every morning it takes at least a 30 minute drive to the childminders and each had she has screamed the entire time. But as soon as she sees the childminder's house, she stops instantly and is all smiles! ARGH!!!!!!

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Thursday, March 21st 2013, 12:41pm

thank you, natural horse, for that compliment. i appreciate it.

the only thing i ask them to do, is behave themselves outside i.e in public. thankfully, after he's got in the car ..... eventually, they will behave in public, most of the time. 2 examples, took my youngest to morrisons recently for a sack for him and a pre-packed sandwich for me. my mum was with us. she ordered a meal - never a good move at moggy's. so he'd finished his snack box, i'd finished my sandwich and drink, she was still waiting. of course, clouring only kept him happy for so long (meal had arrived thankfully by then). after the colouring came the messing with the salt, pepper and vinegar. polite reminders from me that its not acceptable, mum halfway through the meal. then he lstf the table (too big for the high chairs), so knowing i was fighting a losing battle, i calmly walked him out back to the car.waitedfor my mum there.

next example - had to take all 3 to the dentist at the same time :-/ as i thought. they played nicely in the waiting room with the toys and put them away. the dentist dd my eldest first (we're all in the surgery together to show youngest 2 its nothing to worry about) next my 5 year old in the cahir , youngest very interested in what dentist is doing. he clamboured up for his turn, good as gold. and then they all stood there and watched while i was done the eldest took them into the waiting room while i had a scrape and polish. they played quietly and nicely. dont like the kids seeing the scrape (cos of the blood). when i was done, they tidied up again and as we left, the receptionist complimented me on how well behaved my children were. she said t made a lovely change. other kds race around and cause choas. i was so proud of them all.

good days and bad days.

just try to remember it wont last forever, and definitley remember the good days when the bad ones seem particularly bad

:thumbsup:

:xxx3: :xxx: :xxx3:
After a long hard infertility journey, i am now reluctantly done

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