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  • "Lucina" started this thread

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Reg: Nov 6th 2012

Location: London

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Tuesday, December 11th 2012, 8:51pm



I hope you don't mind but I have a bit of an odd question. I recently (finally) got hold of the person in charge of IVF funding for my borough. As a single women I am struggling to pay for the IVF treatment I need and was tying to find out who to write to in order to appeal for funding. I was told that I didn't have a hope in hell and that they only funded couples.

When I expressed my outrage, the man (who I'll not name) said: "Well, if we fund you, what's to stop a gay man asking us to fund an egg donor so he can be a father?"

I happen to be heterosexual but found the prejudice of this comment deeply offensive. I believe that any person or couple who shows that they could raise a child in a loving household should be entitled to support. I'm actually considering reporting the comment (not sure to whom?) but wanted to get others' opinion. Is this unacceptable or am I overreacting?


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Tuesday, December 11th 2012, 10:18pm

didnt want to read & run.

personally I find the comment deeply upsetting & discrimnatory. both for u & the hypothetical gay male. I think I would be outraged too.

can you report it to someone higher than the person you spoke to or maybe the hfea? but, will it come down to the he/she said scenerio?.

either way, I would be angry & offended too.

After a long hard infertility journey, i am now reluctantly done

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Reg: May 15th 2012

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Wednesday, December 12th 2012, 6:02pm

Outrageous, you should definitely look into reporting it to someone.

Me 38 rubbish cycles, very low amh
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Taking a break over the summer

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Wednesday, December 12th 2012, 7:23pm

It is outrageous but as a gay women we were not funded for any treatment we did try and appeal but got nowhere when we did this the first time round the law was such that even though my partner and I did the whole process together she had to adopt ds as he was not legally her son. At least this time round she will go straight on to the baby's birth certificate.

I hope your treatment goes well

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Ivf October 2008 :BFP: 1 beautiful baby1 10th July 2009

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  • "Lucina" started this thread

Posts: 25

Reg: Nov 6th 2012

Location: London

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Friday, December 14th 2012, 4:19pm

Thank you for your responses. I spoke to the HFEA today who agreed that the comment was unacceptable and advised me to lodge a complaint through their website, which I am putting together now. It makes me so furious to think that a handful of 'professionals' are paying God and dictating who can and cannot have children

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Friday, December 14th 2012, 5:26pm

Totally agree - so glad you are going to lodge a complaint.

I must say I'm shocked (but not entirely surprised) that funding could be determined based on sexual orientation or marital status. We (or rather politicians) seem to live in the dark ages when it comes to equal rights...

Good luck with your complaint.


Me and DH: 39. TTC since Dec 2007 - unexplained infertility. Started IVF Aug 2011: 6 failed cycles (4 fresh, 2 FET); 3 blastos on ice




  • "Lucina" started this thread

Posts: 25

Reg: Nov 6th 2012

Location: London

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Saturday, December 15th 2012, 8:45am

Thank you, Constance. I've just lodged it. I'm sure nothing will be done, as I'll not be able to prove a telephone conversation, but I am glad to have reported it. I am going to fight for funding despite being told that it is futile.